Monday, April 25, 2011

April is Almost over!?!?!?!?

What in the HECK happened!!
I know it was just April Fools Day! This Month had totally been a blur. I feel like I fell off the fast track in my business and in life and have come to a total and complete STOP!!!
This is not what I needed!!! Or is it??? I have always said "It is what it is ...nothing more nothing less." This time I having a hard time excepting this!!! I total feel like I have lost this month and I needed it!!! I had so many thing s on the "TO DO" list!!

So Why??? Am I lazy, no motivation, overwhelmed I have no idea. All I know is I'm looking back and nothing for April and this is not good. I have a business on the shirt tails of pure success and now I lost 30 days of building and achieving. I have coiled up and pulled away from many thing in the last few weeks Friend and some Family. I don't openly talk about thing happening in life right now and I come to realize I have a TON of fear!!!!
This has totally taken control of my life for the last 30 days! Well, I'm taking my life back!!!

"Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it." -Unknown

I have been waiting for some test results to come back from the Doctor and I have so much fear wrapped up in it. I have let the fear take complete control of my life!! I tired all the time and haven't found true motivation in weeks and I have closed off to important people in my life!

Funny, I have been working on the this enlightened journey for years now and I STILL have moments!
I know in my heart I right where I'm suppose to be and everything happens for me not to me! I have unconsciously forgotten. I lost my own self awareness of my feelings and state of mind that I slipped into a place a fear without realizing what was happening.
My question is how does this happen? I have learned so much and I have the tools to keep my mind in a good place and not have slip up like this. Nope, this is exactly what was suppose to happen!!! How do I know...I have just learned that you need to access each and everyday! Take time as the old saying goes. "Stop and smell the roses"

I have changed my routine in the last few weeks and this is something I have forgotten to do.
Here is the biggest AW HA... Through out the last few weeks I keep telling myself after we see the doctor this week then I will do this and that and this too!! doesn't really matter what the test say!!!! I still have life to live and I'm not going to get caught up in the waiting game to accomplishment my dreams and goals in life!!!!

There is something I can say...I have looked though new glasses this month. I have totally been reminded. Life is short I need to remember to live and love the best I can everyday!!! Who know when our last day will be!!

I have had this posted on my Blog before I think I needed a reminded...

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

Much Love,

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